what answer should i give?

sigh, things happen and often we cant do anything but to just shrug it off our chest eventhou thats the last thing we want to do. petty things can actually become so out of control and it depresses me because i think im too that kind of person to keep everything in hand. but then yes, who are we to change people's perception and hope that they might think the same as you do. i do know the term about how being nice to a person that dislikes you is not considered fake, but grown up. its just sometimes the way they behave makes me wonder what did i do to deserve so. i always thought coming here would be for the better. apparently im kinda wrong.

i guess to be happy now is the only thing i find relevant to keep whats left of me alive. to think that there are people who still understands and still stick with me keeps me strong from all these nonsense that bind me so much to other's perspective and opinions.

this year is just not a really good year. i lost a friend and i think i am losing another one. great. its more than just discarding someone out from your life that simple. its so complicated and it comes with so much emotions. oh how i wish i could just make every single one of them sit down and talk it out. thou whats been going on lately just tells me that i should just, so called, leave everything to the hands of god. which totally doesnt apply on me as i dont really have a specific religion eventhou how much i believe god exist.

yes i know his always up there but sometimes, the storyline im plotted for is just too, rubbish.

i am lied to, faked to, but yet i'm always around because i believed that one day things might change. just like what a friend of mine say, change are constant, and most of the time we hoped its for the better. i guess im hoping too much. maybe shutting up is not the right thing to do. i don't know what to do, really, honestly.

also to know that how much of a stupid people could think i am just makes me wanna laugh and cry.

life is too much of a bitch.