take it easy man!

today, i wainted for my aunt auntil roughly 2.20pm!

this strange guy came to me and ask am i fine? he said i look sad.

LOL, honestly! i don't know him and then truthfully i really sad but i was smiling!

after that, johan went back then he came and talk to me.

he said i was faithfully but please have some limit on myself :)

its weird talking to someone i don't know but he's nice man!

COOL, seriously! i don't know i still look sad even i smile-.-

ARGH, so what's the point of me smiling when i don't look happy?! bullshit.

after recess, talk to brandon. serious shit!, i felt little better. just for while only.

he say those stuff really make sense. i never thought i will go ask him but..

he will tell everything truthfully :) so, finding him its a right choice! =)
after that strange guy went back.
i saw frankie! haha, talk to him.
his going tuition at 2.30!
he came out early from house to wait for mandyy! so sweet ><"

by the way, why don't just stop talking about it anymore.

TAKE IT EASY MAN! today i think 5person told me this. gosh...

sabrina, take it easy man. i still need to enjoy more stuff :)
alright, thats all for today! :)
BYE
smile always =')

i lost my pride..

I think it was me, it must have been me..

I guess I did something wrong

I tried too hard, wanted too much

I guess that's why he's gone

I lost my pride and I fall and cried

I felt like a little kid!

What's wrong with me? I still can't believe I did the things I did

I couldn't change him, he was gonna break my heart

I saw it coming and I knew it from the start

When you love someone like that

When you give what you can't take back

When you love someone with all your heart and soul

It's so hard to let it go..
that's all for today!
bye
smile always :)

hmmm.

HELLO, sorry late update! cause i was playing maple whole entire day!

tomorrow got exam! well, before recess i think i'm going to sleep! HAHA!

well, nothing much to say..

it's weird for me saying this but

i forgive him for the truth! i even forgive him for being him..

haihs, don't know.. maybe if we really not ngam to be together then won't be..

okay, i'm playing maple soon after update this!

bye!

smile always :)

prove it :)

WOW, never believe what i send! :)

actually, i can feel it. if my feeling are wrong than prove it.

he never care, never even care. no matter how lonely i am.

he still can leave me alone. you're right.

no matter i got exam or no i still will go school because i miss you.

but today, i would like to grats myself! :DD

i realise i can't force you to love me.

can't force you to be with me when you only got like 2/10 feelings on me.

i asked you, do you love me? you said yes.

i asked why? you answer cause i still got feelings. you just got feelings for me only..

because we couple for so long..

but can you accept if you loves someone so much that the person tell you that

both of your relationship was just a puppy love? will you be hurt?

sigh, at first i can't accept the fact that he told me that. dumb? HAHA, YES! :)

then now, if he really loves me he would ask me back.

lets see whats going to happen next :)

bye

smile always :)

is not as bad as i think :)

hey peeps!

actually is not that bad to forget someone.

I'M IN PROCESS TO FORGET SOMEONE..

i realise actually you don't have to act like as if he loves you..

if i miss him, i will tell my friend truthfully.

yesterday was playing maple

out of sudden i miss him..

so i was training with shu wei.. i told her i miss raymond..

isn't weird? LOL!

by the way, actually didn't really sms him is not as bad as i think.

i think the feeling for him is fading away..

his coldness towards me, I've used to it..

now i don't easily cry anymore because i learn to be stronger after each time i cry for him..

i think yeah! move on bah :)

last night i dream about you

In a dream, you appear

For a while, you were here

So I keep sleeping,

Just to keep you with me

I'll draw a map,

Connect all the dots

With all the memories that I got

What I'm missing,

I'll keep reliving
because i really can't forget you

people, i thought i would be really happy today..

basically, I'm wrong now..

he asked me to shut up. he said bye...

i will never forget..

i cry to death also he won't bother anymore..

i remember those day... we kissed, hug and sleep together..

everything is not like that anymore.. i can't stress to YOU HOW BLOODY SAD I AM!

he won't care.. won't give me the chance...

all he think that our love is puppy love..

where is our love?

Where does the love go?

I don't know

When it's all set and done

How could I be losing you forever,

After all the time we spent together

I don't know why I had to lose you

Now you've just become like everything I NEVER FIND AGAIN..

my wish

I can honestly say you've been on my mind

Since I woke up today

I remember when we kissed

I still feel it on my lips

But I remember those simple things

I remember till I cry

But the one thing I wish I'd forget

Is the memory between you and I

another day to get over you

I don't know what to do

I don't know what to say

Cause none knows that he puts me through anyway

I'm awake in disaster

I can't seem to get past him

I try and I try but I can't get away..

i told myself i will get over you sooner!

Even if it takes forever

I'll get myself together

And people ask me how I'm doing?

But every question still has you in

I say I'm fine

And I never think about you

But you're always on my mind.

it was so hard to get you out.

tried to face the fact

you leave me alone and go home play your games

you told me the game is just too attractive to you!

you, you got a way of keeping me on your toes

I forgive you for your ways now that I finally got away..

thank you for the pain cause now i can deal with anything

thats what I've been living for, excuse me while I laugh my ass off!

love really hurts whether its right or wrong

before going to school.

you know.. its so ridiculous that I'm crying before i go school..

I'm so scared to face him.. when i know the truth..

how? can anyone help me.. guide me.. how do i face him...

why am i still crying when i dint sleep for the whole night and keep on cry..

after bath come out still cry.. gosh.. how?..

I'm so pain.. it's so pain.. after all these year I've not been crying like this..

119, come help me! anyone?... its so pain..

how do i face the fact...?

swing and swing

My mood swings are destroying me, constantly making me feel like shit all the time.

And what's so freaking awesome is that I am not doing anything to fight it off.

If you can fight off mood swings, that is.

Again, I have reached a dead-end.

Not knowing what to do to make things better.

I typed out a message on my phone. I was about to send it out to him, not giving a damn about what people would say or think about me. I was so fed-up, fed-up with myself and my never-ending excuses to avoid.. it. The feelings that overcame me that night are so very rare, as of late. I've just been so depressed lately, so snappy at everyone. I've been known as someone who hides their feelings perfectly. But no.. Not now.

If I sent out that message, I would regret it now. I just need more time. More time for myself to overcome my fucking mood-swings and to become a better person for you.

So anyway just a short post to let you people know that I will still be updating my blog so don't leave!

Actually I think the real reason why I stopped updating was because I had nothing emo to talk about anymore. Is that good? Or bad..

I've not been sleeping for whole entire night!
now have to get ready to go school.
bye.

i can't face the fact

i felt so pain.. this words keep on pops out from my mind.

' our love is just puppy love '

you told me our love was just puppy love...

after all this while.. now you tell me this..

what to do now?... can i pretend that you dint tell me..

why must you tell me.. why can't you lie to me.. why must you tell me this..

zach, martin, jade, jackie, cheehouw and shuan tell me that
if the guy really say this to their gf means.. the guy don't love her anymore.

i wish i don't know anything..

isn't weird? i'm couple-ing with a guy that don't love me.

i know you will never say break up because you don't wanna hurt me..

i know you trying to say things that giving sign that you don't love me anymore..

tell me what to do now? i'm so sad that feels like hell..

raymond chee, can i beg you for once? please don't leave me alone.

i'm so pain that tears just wanna falls out. i will try not to let it out..

i'm living in hells..

i know i shouldn't say this way because outside there maybe got people worst than me..

but, this really hurt deeply..

how?.... tell me HOW!!!!!!!!!!

please don't go.. i really needs you... i rely on you too much that i can't lose you..

please.. please! PLEASE!!!
it's 12.50 a.m. and i really can't falls asleep..

haihs

i know my lvl are just so low. forever can't reach to you.. no matter how hard i try.

you know? i remember the time you knee in front of me then beg me back..

you told me you will never hurt me.. you will love me.. you said you wont do things i don't like..

that's why the time i really believe what you said... i dint choose to be with bryan...

sigh, i really love you.. now you tell me.. is better if we break up cause you keep hurting me..

you told me our love is puppy love.. how can i accept all this words?

you are the first guy see my everything. the first guy i overnight with..

the first guy i ever kissed.. the first guy see me drunk crazily...

i can't stress to you how pain i am now.. i wish you would love me like last time..

you said you promise me and you will never break it because you're a man.

you made a man promise.. what about now? are you telling me you're not a man?

i beg you to call me.. and you dint wanted.. you felt that I'm annoying...

can anyone tell me what should i do? I'm living so happily with you.. I'm giving you everything and never think about what if we break up...

i never know this would hurt so much.. i never thought i will cry so much..

i never thought i will hurt myself because my heart was so pain that i can bang myself to the wall but its not as pain like my heart do..

i wish i could do something to change you.. why must all this happen again..

i don't love you just by your looks.. i really love you..

you are the first guy ever give me this feeling..

this feeling is so ridiculous.. i barely can survive without you..

RAYMOND CHEE , tell me what to do? I'm in pain but i think its worth.. because i really love you...